www.jeffthefish.com

My website has been dumb lately, but here are some older things you might enjoy.  Sorry I’m such a disappointment!

I’ma vote Obama way.

The actor who played Commissioner Gordon in the two Tim Burton Batman films, as well as the two Joel Schumacher Batman “films”, has died.

The Circus gang is back indeed. :(

I sure didn’t know that! But thankfully we have people like Ray Comfort to come along and describe me as a “professing atheist”.  Even though I’ve professed many, many times that I am, in fact, not an atheist.  I guess Ray knows best!  I mean, he has a TV show, I don’t.  He even goes on to imply that there is no evidence that could satisfy me of God’s existence, because I am being unreasonable.  In spite of the fact that I have, on several occasions, given examples of evidence that would satisfy me of God’s existence. On Ray’s actual blog.  Oh well.

“It makes me so mad that someone as retarded as he is has lived so long without accidentally setting himself on fire.”
-My friend Kambrie

I was interviewed briefly for an article in the Chattanooga Times Free Press about the effects the coal ash spill might have on the sturgeon.  I think I might have been the first person on the internet to make the connection.

Many of you remember the predictions I made last year about 2008.  You probably thought that many of them would be either right or wrong . You were wrong! I nailed six out of six predictions!  Let’s review!

1.  Hanging out was more extreme than ever. How can you be stupid enough to deny this, right? 2008 was the year of “one star” and “two star” jokes, schwa, etc. If that’s not extreme, ducks have fourteen inch penises.
2. People who used Ctrl+V really were as cool as possible.  We clearly could not have gotten cooler!  To prove it, I will now press Ctrl+V and show you how cool I am:

   http://www.amazon.com/First-Evil-Fear-Street-Cheerleaders/dp/0671751174/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230913150&sr=1-15

   See what I’m talking about?

3. Christmas sea lions actually became regular sea lions.  I know, you were skeptical.  But tell me, when did you see any Christmas sea lions?  Thought so.
4. Skateboards became sentient.  But you don’t have to take my word for it:  It happened!
5. Sunglasses were not the new cool. This is the one prediction I totally flubbed on.  On the other hand, when I said “sunglasses” I was talking about remakes of classic movies.
6. It was possible that the dinosaurs would return. It so happens that they didn’t, but you can’t deny that it was so possible.

Welp, now it’s time to start working on predictions for 2009!

Hey Guys,

I just got an email from the Director of Research at the Tennessee Aquarium in response to my question about the coal ash spill. The Aquarium releases the sturgeon upstream from where the spill happened, and in a different tributary. This sounds like good news, and it probably is, but they know that many of the sturgeon migrate downstream.  But really, it’s too soon to know anything for sure.

Just thought I’d let you know.

Love,

Jason

According to YouTube user globetrekker2:

true scientists are Christians, all others are a poor excuse for a human. [Source]

K thx!