Yesterday I touched Eurhinodelphis!
Yay! Eurhinodelphis lived about 15 million years ago, and the particular fossil I touched was found on the Northwestern coast of the Olympic Peninsula. I may eventually post a photo of the actual fossil that I touched, but I want to make sure it’s OK with all parties involved.
So blog readers, let me ask you: Should I become a successful paleontologist?
Evolution is so retarded that even Carl Sagan admits that there is no way it could happen even if there were “billions and billions” of years for natural selection to operate (Sagan, 1997).
Good grief, everyone else is linking to this story, I guess I might as well too. It is quite hilarious.
PZ Myers of Pharyngula fame tried to go to an early screening of the movie Expelled, and got kicked out! He’s in the freaking movie, but he’s not allowed to see it! I guess they want to put off getting caught in their lies as long as possible.
But check out this account of the incident, written by the writer of the movie. Note especially the comments. It’s slam after slam after slam. Why don’t they just give up on this ridiculous movie?
I guess you should probably know that I love bichirs. They are a primitive air breathing group of fishes from Africa. I personally own six different species of them. I know what I’m talking about.
I found this while looking for videos of lungfish. It’s the worst video ever! The title is “My Pet Dinosaur an African Birchir a type of Lung Fish”. From the grammar and spelling in this video, I assumed that a child had made this, which would be excusable. According to the user’s profile, however, he’s 31 years old! Wow.
First of all, it’s “bichir”, not “birchir” or “bircher”. And SONOFABITCH they are not lungfish! Lungfish are lungfish! Yes, bichirs breathe air, but they aren’t lungfish! Bichirs and lungfish are not even in the same class. Lungfish, as I’ve said eight billion times this week, are more closely related to humans than they are to bichirs. This is an inexcusable mistake.
In the video, he also says that bichirs come from the Amazon river. Why the MOTHER EFFING HELL would an African fish be from the Amazon river? What an idiot! Maybe he has a debilitating brain injury. I shouldn’t judge.
He also says that bichirs use their pectoral and pelvic fins to walk on the bottom. I have six of them. I have never seen this. He says that you can’t tell a male from a female. Do some research, man!
Bichirs are ridiculously easy to sex, simply by looking at their anal fin, as shown above.
Last complaint before I show the video: He says that in the wild bichirs grow up to 4.5 feet long. Sorry, now you’re just lying. Maybe he’s confusing bichirs with real lungfish, some of which do get almost that big.
Seriously, don’t watch this. It’s eight minutes of your life you can’t get back.
I like the premise of this article about eco-friendly fisheries, but they said some pretty stupid things. Here’s the part that made me the angriest:
“It is also possible to select types of fish that provide much more food while consuming less. The catfish, for example, originally an African freshwater fish, provides one kilo of fish for every 800 grams of food it consumes. The rest of its growth comes from the warmth of the water in which it swims and the air it breathes. The catfish is a lungfish.”
OK, what? “The catfish” is orignally from Africa? Do they think there’s only one species of catfish? It occurred to me that maybe they meant that all catfish came from a common African ancestor, which radiated and spread throughout the world. But no, the earliest known catfish fossils are from Argentina. They have to be talking about one particular species of catfish, but it’s stated as though there is only one species. ARGHH THAT MAKES ME MAD!!
And then they say that catfish are lungfish? When I read that, I ran outside, approached the nearest, baddest, biggest, toughest looking dude, and said, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE!!” Why did I to this? It’s simple: I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot when I started crying blood.
Guys, lungfish are lungfish! I get that you’re trying to convey that some catfish can utilize atmospheric oxygen, but they are not lungfish!
But wait, there’s another article that upset me slightly less. It describes a study that proposes the idea that hiccups may be an evolutionary throwback to breathing with gills. Scope this out, bros:
“Such brotherly creatures would be, you guessed it, frogs (more specifically tadpoles or any gilled amphibian or lungfish). “
That sentence doesn’t quite make sense. Yeah, uh, my favorite food is Japanese food (more specifically, spaghetti and other kinds of desert).
And then they briefly describe the theory of evolution:
“As anyone who has taken basic high-school biology can tell you, Darwin’s theory of evolution states that the most complex of today’s life forms, like the human being, evolved from the most simplistic of life forms, like the tadpole, millions of years ago.”
Well, yeah…kinda…? I guess that is what someone who has only taken basic high school biology would tell you. Are humans the most complex of today’s life forms? I’m pretty sure that’s debatable. We are not the pinnacle of evolution. But tadpoles are definitely not the “most simplistic of life forms”, and we did not evolve from an animal like a tadpole. In fact, frogs and humans both share a common ancestor in the Devonian, around 375 million years ago. The lobe-finned fish whose lineage produced four legged animals produced both frogs and humans. Evolutionarily speaking, frogs and humans are equally advanced.
Anyway, blah blah blah go home.
The following quotes, collected from real live Creationists, pretty much speak for themselves. Some might be funnier in their original context, so just click the source link following each quote. If you need help understanding why they’re funny, let me know. And I’m not doing this specifically to ridicule anyone or be mean. I just want to point out how these people are giving Christianity a bad name and making the world a worse place.
I have also read the technical literature. Huge leaps and assumptions are made by people who interpret the data. Are you telling me that in your own research you have made cats out of the genetic DNA for dogs or something similar to this? Because that is the whole theory. [Source]
I’m certainly not against intellectual reason. But to try and reason scientifically with someone who discounts the Bible is FUTILE! [Source]
To all the atheists that continue to try to dazzle everyone with your big fancy words…Blah, Blah, Blah!! [Source]
if what ya’ll say is true, then everything is related to oranges. this spontaneous boom of everything without a creator… pretty stupid. let me ask something… if God can’t always have existed, then neither could energy. [Source]
Think about this, Paul (and all you other atheists): eggs are the only way that chickens reproduce. Tell me: how many chickens would you have to have at first in order to make enough mistakes figuring out how to get to eggs–not to mention eggs that work–in order for the species to survive? And how did they get there? [Source]
Of all the atheists I’ve debated with, they’ve always given me reasons not to believe in God, but never once have I been given a valid reason to not believe in God. I’m *still* waiting for a logical answer to the question “which came first, the chicken or the egg?”. I know that’s an age old question but I’ve not yet received an answer that makes sense and that doesn’t in some way misdirect or try to avoid the question. [Source]
So until recently we haven’t been able to figure out why bees fly you guys claim to know how life came it’s current state over the last 4.6 billion years. [Source]
Our friends, the evolutionists can’t identify this reptile/fish thing they say they’ve found. It’s probably one or the other or something like the platypus God designed to help our fleshbound scientists make fools of themselves. [Source]
God is not mocked; the Tiktaalik rosea doesn’t surprise Him. Only a very few thousand years ago, He created the thing some scientists date at three-hundred and seventy-five million years. What a nice ballpark number, rounded to the nearest five million years! [Source]
Don’t forget to check out the other editions of Hilarious Creationist Quotes:
Hilarious Creationist Quotes
Hilarious Creationist Quotes Part II
Hilarious Creationist Quotes Part III
Hilarious Creationist Quotes: The Movie
On Sunday I went to Dragon Fish & Pets in White Center and traded in this guy:
For this guy:
Yes, you heard me correctly. I traded my electric catfish, Malepterurus electricus, for a South American lungfish, Lepidosiren paradoxa. When I bought him I actually thought he was an African lungfish. L. paradoxa grows to four feet, which I didn’t realize until the next day.
I’ve named him Steven, and I love him very much. One of the cool things about lungfish is that they are more closely related to humans than to most other fish! Both humans and lungfish share a common ancestor with the animal whose lineage gave rise to tetrapods, and that common ancestor is more recent than the lungfish’s common ancestor with ray-finned fishes. When they were first discovered, it was unclear whether they were a fish or a reptile!
Look, the point is, I love Steven, and so do you!
I’m really sorry I’ve been writing so many ranty anti-Creationist things lately. This website is supposed to be funny and lighthearted, but COME ON! These people are asking for it!!
I just sent this email to Answers in Genesis:
This regards Ken Ham’s recent blog entry entitled “Musuem [sic] Opens Eyes to Need for Christ“, specifically the letter from a concerned parent in the second half of this post.
This has to be the most ignorant thing I’ve read on this website in a long time, and I have read many ignorant things on this website. This parent actually believes the lies you are perpetrating about the racist implications of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. To say that his theory encourages racism, and that the concept of races “persists today…at the highest and most respected levels of the evolutionary scientific establishment” is ridiculous. Don’t you people know that genetic evidence (you know, from science? oh, right.) shows that there is no genetic basis for race?
I guess I should congratulate your organization for so successfully infiltrating logic, but it still bothers me that you’re ruining society and Christianity.
Jason J Brunet
“Compromised” Christian
www.jeffthefish.com
On a more infuriating note, check out the third photo, the first one showing Ken Ham and Bello. Notice that on the left you can see an aquarium, with what appears to be a Florida gar and a Firemouth Cichlid inside. THIS CANNOT BE TOLERATED. It’s bad enough to defile dinosaurs by putting them in the Creation Museum. They’ve been dead for 65 million years. But gars and cichlids are alive today! This is so offensive! I wonder what else is in that tank.
This morning I read on Ugly Overload about a new species of tiny salamander recently discovered in Costa Rica. At only one inch long, surely, I thought to myself, this must be the smallest tetrapod (four limbed vertebrate [this includes whales and birds]) in the world!
This led me on a brief internet search to find out if I was right. Turns out, there are several species of frog that are even teenier!!! The smallest tetrapod in the world is the Brazilian Gold Frog, Brachycephalus didactylus [wiki], only 9.8mm long!
Now you know, etc.
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