Fun With Omegle
I recently discovered the joys of Omegle, a chat service that connects you anonymously to one other stranger. There are no user names and no identifying information whatsoever, unless you choose to share that with your conversation partner.
So stuff like this can happen:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi.
Stranger: hi
You: please don’t shout “MIDGETS” or something like that.
Stranger: what
Stranger: haha
You: that’s what’s been happening to me :)
You: it’s funny for about 30 seconds.
Stranger: why
You: i don’t know.
Stranger: why r they shouting midgets?
You: i guess they think it’s cute.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: so.. where u from
You: they didn’t offer an explanation.
You: i am living in seattle.
You: you?
Stranger: uk
You: oh boy!
You: i’m half english.
Stranger: im from scotland
You: oh.
Stranger: im half english too
You: oh good.
Stranger: yes
You: i thought i’d blown it.
Stranger: haha why?
You: what city?
You: i don’t know.
Stranger: dundee
You: oh.
You: do you like it there?
Stranger: not really its cold
Stranger: right now theres loads of mist its really creepy
You: you’re near the sea.
You: that’s cool.
You: it’s cold and rainy here too.
Stranger: yes
You: but probably not as col.d
You: and today it’s sunny.
Stranger: i bet id find your cold warm
You: quite possible.
Stranger: MIDGETS
You: oh dear lord.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stumble it!
April 6th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
You: in front of a cute girl :(
Stranger: at least it didn’t fall in the blender this time
You: I blew it.
You: yeah, you’re right.
You: could’ve been worse.
Stranger: yeah you could have aids
You: is your dick still on at least?
Stranger: o yeah
You: good. keep it that way.
Stranger: last i checked
Stranger: will do
You: you know, I’d better go look for my dick.
You: thanks for the pep talk.
Stranger: no prob
You: see ya
You have disconnected.
IT’S A TRAP!
April 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Damn. I didn’t copy the whole thing. Now it makes no sense. But it’s still funny. Trap.
April 6th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
This one is okay:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: I’m writing a song. Would you like to help with the lyrics?
Stranger: sure
You: ok
You: so far I don’t have much
You: it goes like this:
You: every morning I try to get up
same old coffee, same old cup
You: that’s all I got.
You: :(
Stranger: lol
You: any ideas?
Stranger: what is the rythm like?
You: not sure yet… That’s really all I have.
You: I just liked how it sounded.
Stranger: ok i cant help you
You: well, it was worth a shot.
You: are you working on any songs?
Stranger: im not
You: maybe i can hlep you.
You: oh
You: songs is all I know.
You: :(
You: don’t know much.
Stranger: i know nothing about it
You: lol? :(
You have disconnected.
That site is a trap. Very addictive.
April 6th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: happy birthday!
Stranger: howd you know
Stranger: seriously
Stranger: today is actually my birthday
You: we have people everywhere
You: sorry i didn’t get you anything
Stranger: ?????
Stranger: how did you know that >????
Stranger: wow
Stranger: thats the weirdest thing that ever happen to me
Stranger: gonna put this in my blog
You: haha
April 6th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Hello Dylan. Welcome.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Thanks, glad to be…here?
April 7th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I’m glad to be anywhere.
April 7th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Stranger: fuck me do you live in the same place as ‘the hills have eyes’
You: LOL no
Stranger: thats a prety horrible fim
Stranger: the ape scene is disturbing
Stranger: oh my god rape grrrrr
You: My mom’s side of the family lives in the ozark mountains. THAT’S where you find the “Hills Have Eyes” people.
You: I can’t watch rape or torture in movies.
You: Or…in reality…
You: just for clarification.
Stranger: honestly when i ent to america (florida) if i drove out of what i felt were safe areas i felt very nervous. rednecks do not like tourists
You: My grandmother still keeps her milk and butter in the stream to keep it from spoiling.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: thats old school
April 7th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Oh my. Florida.
April 7th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Stranger: Brasil
You: wow
You: excellent
Stranger: yes
Stranger: you speak portugues?
You: what do you do for fun in Brasil?
You: oh no, I am a lazy American, I only speak English and a small amount of Spanish.
Stranger: I like to go out on a girls handle ballads pa
Stranger: and you?
You: television, movies, hiking, pets
Stranger: social issue?
You: ?
You: all of those things I do socially
Stranger: only issue is to do for e?
You: I don’t understand
You: sorry!
April 8th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Well, there you are.
Stranger: here i am
You: should I ask where you’ve been, or just accept that you are here, now?
Stranger: do wherever pleases you
You: that’s good advice. But what should I tell Mom?
You: Should I tell her you’ve just been ‘out’?
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: tell her im ok
Stranger: i found a job actually
You: Do you think she’ll buy that?
You: How about I tell her that you’re not in prison.
Stranger: It depends, on how you will teell her
You: I guess that’s true…
You: what’s the job?
Stranger: i’m a secret agent
Stranger: NID
You: Shhheeeeeit. I can’t tell her that!
Stranger: just tell her i’m ok
You: I’ll tell her you’re a garbage man. Agreed?
You: Just bring garbage to family functions.
Stranger: it’s up to you
You: all right. I’ll tell her that you’re okay, and that you’re a garbabge man now.
Stranger: sometimes the truth hurts
You: Yeah, I hear ya.
You: Well, I got to go. Mom’s calling me to ask about you. Again.
You have disconnected.
April 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
You are really good at this.
July 1st, 2009 at 12:14 am
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heylo
Stranger: sup dude
You: HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE EZ COFFIN!
You: WHEN YOU DIE, YOU BUY!
Stranger: fuck you asshole
Stranger: BEEN CREME
You: USE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT!
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
You: CALL IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES AND WE’LL DOUBLE YOUR OFFER!
You: TELL EM BILLY SENT YOU!
Stranger: so i get 2! ez coffins!!!
You: THAT’S RIGHT!
You: FOR ONLY 19.95!
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
Stranger: NO WAY!
You: CALL NOW AND WE’LL GIVE YOU AN EZ FUNERAL!
You: FUNERALS TOO BORING?
You: MAKE IT EZ WITH THE EZ FUNERAL!
You: ALL THIS FOR JUST ONE EZ PAYMENT!
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
Stranger: NO WAY!
You: CALL IN THE NEXT YEAR AND WE’LL GIVE YOU A FREE ZOMBIE!
You: LIFE GOT YOU DOWN?
You: ZOMBIE WILL SPARK SOME EXCITEMENT IN YOUR LIFE!
You: AND TELL EM BILLY SENT YOU!
Stranger: i love you billy mays
You: HI BILLY MAYS HERE FROM EZ HEAVEN!
You: YOUR NON BELIEF IN HEAVEN GOT YOU DOWN?
You: WELL WE’VE MADE OUR OWN HEAVEN OUT OF MIGHTY PUTTY!
You: AND USE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT!
Stranger: YAY!
You: WELL TELL GOD BILLY SENT YA!
Stranger: wait isnt Billy already there?
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
You: CALL NOW AND WE’LL THROW IN EZ DEATH!
You: WANT TO GO TO EZ HEAVEN BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE?
You: WE’VE GOT THE PERFECT GIFT FOR YOU!
You: EZ DEATH CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH THAT TRANSPORTATION FROM THIS BORING LIFE TO YOUR OWN EZ HEAVEN
Stranger: YAY! IS THERE MORE!
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
You: JUST KIDDING THERE’S NO MORE!
Stranger: :’(
Stranger: thats a deal breaker sorry
You: god damn it
You: all that for nothing
You: billy mays has lost faith in stranger
Stranger: :’(
You: you should be crying
You: no one hurts billy mays like that!
Stranger: except for EZ DEATH
You: TELL EM BILLY SENT YOU!
Stranger: ok will do
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
Stranger: YAY!
You: RESPOND NOW AND WE’LL DOUBLE YOUR OFFER!
Stranger: YES!
You: YOU WANT IT WE GOT IT!
Stranger: YAY!
You: AND GET A FREE EZ TORTURE!
You: EVER WANTED TO TORTURE ANYONE!
Stranger: YES
You: WELL YOU CAN NOW WITH THE EZ TORTURE!
You: TORTURE YOUR MOM, YOUR BROTHER, YOUR DOG, YOUR BABY, SOME RANDOM GUY ON THE INTERNET!
You: IN 5 MINUTES THEY’LL BE SCREAMING FOR HELP!
Stranger: YES
You: USE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT!
You: billy mays tired
Stranger: ok go to EZ HEAVEN
You: CALL OR LOG ON NOW TO EZWHATEVER.COM AND WE’LL SET YOU UP!
Stranger: YAY
You: dang usually people leave in the first few seconds lol
You: haha i made this all up on the fly
Stranger: your welcome haha
Stranger: it was actually hella fun i was cracking up the whole tome
You: lol
Stranger: thank you for that :)
You: np
Stranger: haha bye
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
You: lol jk there isn’t any more :(
Stranger: danging
You: u thought there was more didn’t ya?
Stranger: yuiop
You: BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
You: RESPOND IN THE NEXT 2 SECONDS AND GET EZ FAITH!
Stranger: wej
Stranger: I DID IT
You: YOU BEEN DOUBTING YOUR RELIGION?
You: WELL CALL NOW AND WE’LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER DOUBT IT AGAIN!
You: THE SECRET IS IN HOW WE BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WALL UNTIL YOU SAY YOU BELIEVE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
July 1st, 2009 at 7:56 am
You are awesome.
September 6th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Stranger: hi
You: Happy Birthday from Omegle!
Stranger: thanks…
Stranger: but not the right day i guess
Stranger: hah]
You: We’re a little early but we strive to be within 2 months of the accurate date.
You: How did we do?
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: u r damn excellent i have to say
You: Please don’t curse on Omegle. It upsets the other birthday boys.
Stranger: i dont like cursing…i just have cybersex on it
Stranger: haha
You: Omegle is not a dating site.
Stranger: having sex is not the same with dating
You: Well, we here at Omegle embrace all sorts of lifestyles. Even the slutty kinds.
Stranger: wow….so do i
Stranger: haha
Stranger: maybe there should be more sluts
You: Want to cyber with an official Omegle employee?
Stranger: coool………but u have to be a blond beauty there
Stranger: with plump breasts
Stranger: and big ass
You: There are eight of us in the office right now and one is a very attractive blonde intern. Let me go get her. BRB!
Stranger: wow it seems to be a sex service site here
You: Hi, Omegler. My name is Ashlynn. I’m 22. Would you like to cyber with me? I would like to make your experience with Omegle as enjoyable as possible.
Stranger: cooooooooooooool, i d like to pinch ur nipple first
Stranger: haha
You: Shall I start?
Stranger: of course
You: Okay, baby. Why don’t you Omegle my Omegle-y Omegles. Then I’ll Omegle your Omegle and we can Omegle on the Omegle. Oh yeah you like that, baby?
Stranger: yep u r a good rapper
You: Oops, left my language chip on. Shall I try again?
Stranger: and i m a good raper
Stranger: haha
You: Sorry. I’m new!
Stranger: i like new sluts
Stranger: cos they r fucked by less guys
You: Oh, hey, this is Bob again. Um, this is awkward. Ashlynn had to run to a training class.
You: Wanna cyber with me instead?
Stranger: fuck
You: Oh yeah baby. I like that.
You: Call me UNCLE BOB!
Stranger: u fucking cock
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
September 6th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
McKay, I don’t know who you are, nor what gender you belong to, but I do know that I am in love with you and wish to have your babies.
October 10th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 23 f us
You: u?
Stranger: 18 m
Stranger: usa
Stranger: how are you?
You: fine
You: u?
Stranger: im doing a lot better now that i am talking to you :)
Stranger: haha
Stranger: that was corny
You: hehehehe
You: :)
Stranger: :)
Stranger: lol
Stranger: whatcha up to?
You: not much watching my roommate get dressed at the moment
You: u?
Stranger: lol, nothing really, im just surfing the internet
Stranger: why are you watching your rommate getting dressed
Stranger: lol
Stranger: >
December 12th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: say cheese
Stranger: ok
Stranger: cheese
You: this picture seems to be good
You: thank you
December 25th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
——————————————————————————–
You - Hii!
Stranger - HOW DARE YOU!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You - You take a left you take a right whats the first thing in your sight? Stranger - A weirdo through the computer
You - say whaat??
Stranger - A STRANGER THROUGH THE COMPUTER!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You - Hi Age, sex , location =)
stranger - 23, yes please, anywhere you want
You - …..how bout never
Stranger - YOUR KILLING ME!
You have disconnected.
December 25th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Good job!
January 13th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Happy Birthday!
You: The Omegle staff is now speaking to you
Stranger: FUCKEN TURK
You: We like to wish every user a happy birthday in advance
Stranger: i dont have a birthday
Stranger: -.-
You: to thank you for your loyalness, you get the chance to talk to one of our employees
You: Would you want that?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yes plz ^^
You: Ok, please hang on
You: Hey there! My name is Ashlee
You: And what is yours?
Stranger: hi (:
Stranger: im luke ^^
Stranger: how are ya today?
You: Well hey luke, im doing just fine.
You: I must say, im getting quite bored at the office here
You: don’t tell my boss ;)
Stranger: haha i wont ;)
You: Luke, do you want to know a secret? :P
Stranger: yes (:
You: I can watch the conversations of ALL omegle users, at any time
Stranger: cool ^^
You: And you cant believe the amount of flirting that is going on at this very moment!
Stranger: hah really? o:
Stranger: camsex? xD haha jokes
You: No i can not see that, just the flirting
You: Anyways
You: Did you know that us staff members here are trained to have erotic conversations? :P
Stranger: wow (:
You: When we have to investigate harassment issues
Stranger: well your doing your job pretty well if you ask me ;) haha
You: Hahaha, do you think this conversation is erotic? :P
Stranger: no, but it COULD be? ;D
You: Do you want it to be? :P
Stranger: yes (:
You: Well i guess that some more training can never be bad for me hahaha
You: So, how are you feeling right now, Luke?
Stranger: aroused
Stranger: haha i joke (:
Stranger: tired :D
Stranger: wbu?
You: Warm, sensual
You: I would just like someone to touch my body
Stranger: wish i was there to touch it for you ;)
You: Where would you touch me?
Stranger: wherever you want :D
You: Oh wait, my boss has to speak to you
You: Hey there Luke, its Ben here, head of staff
Stranger: haha k
Stranger: hiya ^^
You: Would you like to continue this conversation with me, boy?
You: You can call me Uncle Ben
Stranger: rofl
Stranger: umm
Stranger: if you and ashlee spoke together it would be better
Stranger: or just ashlee by herself? ;D
You: Ok lets quit the jokes here
Stranger: troll?
You: The actual person speaking to you right now is Tom Jefferson
You: I am Head of Recherche at Miami PD
You: We are searching for the fugitive Luke Busby
Stranger: i think you have the wrong person :P haha
You: In his description it is presented that this fugitive is keen on having erotic conversations on the site of Omegle
Stranger: thats quite a few guys
Stranger: haha
You: Boy, i am telling you, if you close this conversation you could be charged for obstruction of justice
You: Now, I would like to have some information from you.
You: What is your relationship to the Italian Mafia based in Miami, Florida?
Stranger: not related
Stranger: xD
Stranger: and btw
Stranger: Definitions of Recherche on the Web:
exquisite: lavishly elegant and refined
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Sought out with care; choice. Hence: of rare quality, elegance, or attractiveness; peculiar and refined in kind — especially with an artificial …
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/recherch%C3%A9
choice; rare
Stranger: ????
You: Are you taking this as a joke, Luke?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i just think you genuinely have the wrong person
You: Would you prefer having this conversation at your current place of residence?
You: Meaning with the actual police, Luke?
Stranger: not particularly
Stranger: :P
You: Then i must ask from you to quit those idiotic comments, and speak the absolute truth
You: For you will be charged with obstruction of justice
Stranger: i havent done anything wrong
You: If you do not comply with me and give me the information i ask for
Stranger: wait
Stranger: for
Stranger: it
Stranger: …
Stranger: …..
You: Once again, what was your relationship with Antonio Allegitti?
Stranger: …….
Stranger: TROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLL
Stranger: and
Stranger: no idea
You: Luke,
Stranger: never heard of him
You: I am giving you one more warning
You: Ok that was the drop
You: Luke, for your information we are currently tracking your IP
Stranger: what is it then?
You: please expect a member of a national police force to be at your door at any moment
Stranger: what is my IP address?
You: I have warned you, and i will now have to arrest you for obstruction of justice
You: Do not ask idiotic questions which you know we will not answer/
Stranger: i need to know if youre legit before i tell you anything
Stranger: so
Stranger: what is my IP address?
You: Please, I must ask of you to remain at your current place of residence until you have been instructed to do anything else
You: Luke, see you at the Office
Stranger: in miami?
Stranger: xD
You: Miriam Galford’s death will not be in vain
Stranger: miriam galford is here
Stranger: hes sitting next to me
You: You do not know the mess you are getting yourself into.
Stranger: what was your name again?
You: That is none of your business
You: Must i repeat my statement?
Stranger: you already told me before
Stranger: why cant you tell me again?
You: Because you already know it
You: Ok we have your location
You: see you in a minute, Luke
You have disconnected.
January 16th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyya!
You: BLOB
Stranger: ninny muggins?
You: yes
Stranger: cottne headed ninny muggins?
You: yes
Stranger: or just ninny muggins?
You: just ninny muggins
Stranger: sweet!
Stranger: im more like a tailed cantaloupe
You: sweet!
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: so whatcha up to stranger
You: im blobing
You: you?
Stranger: well. Mother was yelling at me. i told her to go poop or some thing.
Stranger: but she didnt
Stranger: >.
January 19th, 2010 at 9:24 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
You: You walk into a room and see a flash, what do you do?
You: No thanks, I don’t smoke.
Stranger: whats your name
Stranger: ?
You: My name is Robert.
You: And yours, if I may ask?
Stranger: johanna
You: What a beautifull name.
Stranger: where do you come from´?
You: I live in Britain actually. How about you?
Stranger: i live in germany
You: Oh, I have never been. How is it?
Stranger: i like it
Stranger: i dont want to live anywhere
Stranger: else
You: Well, that is great.
Stranger: how old are you?
You: I turn 29 in two days actually?
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 24
Stranger: what about your work?
You: I work at a private law firm in London, it’s my second year here now.
You: And you?
You: Hello?
You: Johanna, are you there?
Stranger: i´m stud
Stranger: i´m studying
You: Okay, very well than. What to you study?
Stranger: psychology
You: That’s quite psycadelic actually.
Stranger: analytic psychology
You: Okay.
You: Now tell, do you happen to know a lad by the name of Zach Freitag?
Stranger: i dont understand
You: Zach Freitag is a friend of mine who often spends his time on
Omegle, that is why I am here. I am looking for him.
You: He disappeared from his appartment a couple of days ago, but we often get calls from people who claim to have spoken with him on Omegle.
Stranger: i dont know him
You: I am quite worried about him, you see.
Stranger: you should call him
You: I already have, a dozens of times. But he does not answer my calls, nore anyone elses’
You: Right now it has gotten to a point where we don’t even know if he is alive.
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: you could visit him
You: This is all so sad, I am sorry to have burdened you with this information.
Stranger: at his hoem
Stranger: home
You: I was planned on doing exactly that later on today, thank you. I hope to find him there.
You: But as I have learned over time, one can never be to sertain.
Stranger: why
Stranger: why are you so careful
You: For all I know, this could all be big hoax. He escaped from the asylum very recently, but they let him stay at home because they were afraid for his mental state being locked up at the hospital.
You: He often plays these little meaningless jokes. When in fact, it is not funny at all.
You: That is why I am careful with him. I do not want him to be afraid of confiding in me.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:07 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: f 17 cali
You: u?
Stranger: 19 m
Stranger: amsterdam
You: zomg u fucking creep
Stranger: what
Stranger: ?
You: how do u keep finding me like this?
Stranger: what the hell
Stranger: i have no idea what you are talking about
You: god, what the hell is ure problem? and please, for the love of god,
don’t ask me all those creepy questions u did earlier
Stranger: what did i ask?
You: dude, u don’t fool me
Stranger: no seriously
Stranger: please
You: wth u make me sick
You: im not gonna tell u anything
Stranger: wtf
You: this is the third fucking time i get a 18 year old creep from amsterdam
Stranger: im 19 bitch
You: yeah that’s what i meant cunt
Stranger: well get the fuck out if you dont like it
You: now please, just take ure fucking nazi ass out of here okay?
You: ive had enough of ure sick hitler speaches
Stranger: troll
You: i mean dude, wth, ure sick man
You: and don’t call me a fucking troll i asshole
Stranger: seriously wtf is your problem
You: no crscly, what is ure problem? u said some sick stuff dude
Stranger: WHAT
You: its messed up
Stranger: it was somebody else
You: oh yeah?
Stranger: there live about a million people in amsterdam, you know
You: and i just happened to find the one crazy guy that keeps following me??
Stranger: im not this guy
You: how the hell do u even pull this of?
Stranger: okay
Stranger: okay
Stranger: im him
Stranger: you got me
You: oh god
You: FBI
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Stranger: Do you like it up the butt?
You: yes i do
You: do you
Stranger: i like to give ittt
Stranger: mmmm
You: ohh yeah
Stranger: niceee
Stranger: bend over bitch
You: ok
Stranger: wait…youre male, right?
You: give it to me
You: yes
Stranger: oh baby, oh baby
You: mmmh
Stranger: where you live?
You: california
Stranger: damnnn son, my shlong aint that long!
January 25th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
You: heeey
Stranger: ima put your penis in pepper
You: i’m going to surgically remove your asshole with a butter knife
Stranger: i lost
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
January 25th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: how’s your cornea?
Stranger: pretty good
Stranger: yours
You: sucks it’s injured
You: be thankful
Stranger: what happened
You: i was bobsledding and some random gypsy tried to steal my earrings, but scratched my eyeball with her toenail instead
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
January 25th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
You just have the worst luck, Alexandra.
March 19th, 2010 at 12:36 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Vagina? :D
Stranger: Nederlands?
You: Omg.
You have disconnected.
April 7th, 2010 at 11:41 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: i wanna take a ride on your disco stick.
You: then i will cut your head off and shove it up my asshole.
Stranger: sounds kinky
You: yes
You: then i will eat its internoral organs then throw them up in you penis hole
Stranger: i dont have a penis
Stranger: so yesah
Stranger: thats not gonna work
You: you will when im done with you
May 26th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Will you tell me a story?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: seat down and listen
You: Okay :]
Stranger: there was a time…
Stranger: in a dark and far away forest…
You: This is intense.
Stranger: there was a little prince
You: I like it.
Stranger: u can participate too
You: DON’T LET THE PRINCE GET BUTT RAPED!!!
Stranger: omg u r nasty
Stranger: can i put u in the story?
Stranger: whats your name?
You: I’m just looking out for my buddy. How is that nasty?
You: Yes, you may.
You: My name is Andi.
Stranger: andi is boy or girl name?
You: Female.
Stranger: beautful
Stranger: continuing…
Stranger: and then..
Stranger: the little prince meet little andi
Stranger: and the little prince butt raped little andi
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: ohhhhh i’m soooo sorry
You: YOU ASSHOLE!!!
Stranger: but thats how the story goes
Stranger: i cant change it
Stranger: u cant change it
Stranger: lets tell a story about you and I?
You: You suck at telling stories you little pole greasing butt pirate >:(
Stranger: i will google for “pole greasing butt pirate”…
Stranger: i dont know the meaning at the moment
Stranger: but hey!
Stranger: i got some good news
Stranger: wanna hear?
You: I like good news :]
You: YES!
Stranger: i love u, little andi!
Stranger: really do
You: That’s kind of creepy, little stranger.
Stranger: it’s not creepy
Stranger: u r bad
You: It is, it is.
You: Why am I bad?
Stranger: please love me back
You: I don’t want to. For all I know you could be a girl. I aint no lesbian, ya’ll.
Stranger: i’m male
Stranger: from brazil
Stranger: 26
Stranger: u?
You: Oh, what is your name?
Stranger: Lucas
You: LUUUUUUUUUUUCAS. YOU CHEATED ON LILLY!
Stranger: i must go now
You: NO, LUCAS! STAAAAY!
You: Please.
Stranger: say u love me!!!!!!!!1
You: I’m not ready for that kind of comminment yet. I’m very sorry, little Lucas. Please do not be angry with me, little Lucas.
Stranger: all right…
Stranger: u won
Stranger: u r cool… little andi
Stranger: how old?
You: 15. Baby raper.
Stranger: baby raper? you or me?
You: You, silly :]
Stranger: i’m so sorry
Stranger: all right
Stranger: lets restart…
Stranger: have boyfriend?
You: Sounds good!
You: Will you tell me a story.
You: Yes, his name is ****.
Stranger: i wont say **** butt raped you…
You: He didn’t!
You: I promise.
Stranger: but… did you wanted?
You: No, no butt activities going on between **** and I.
Stranger: and between you and ME?
You: Nothing is going on between you and I, little Lucas. You kinda give me the heebie jeebies.
Stranger: little andi
Stranger: you have to take easy with me
Stranger: i dont know english
Stranger: heebie jeebies sounds like candy for me
You: It means you creep me out, little Lucas.
Stranger: well
Stranger: what do we do now?
You: No butt secks.
Stranger: all right
Stranger: have you watched eternal sunshine of spotless mind?
You: No.
You: MITCHELL DAVIS SAID THAT!
Stranger: well, i dont know mister davis… but i’m sure he liked the movie
Stranger: all right
Stranger: i have no more ideas cute andi
You: He is a youtuber.
You: Please do not call me that. It makes me think you wanna butt rape me.
Stranger: well
Stranger: i wouldnt say i dont want
You: You are a very scary man.
Stranger: u started with this butt raped thing
Stranger: i didnt even knew this expression before meet you
You: LIAR.
You: Do you know what it means?
Stranger: i figured out
You: So tell me what it means.
Stranger: forced anal sex…
You: Wrong.
You: …
You: It means to forcefully put your penis into an unwilling man or womans anus.
Stranger: u r sooooo cute
You: Thus the term “butt rape.”
Stranger: i wouldnt want it to be unwilling…
You: STOP SAYING THAT YOU FUCKING CREEPY WOMAN.
Stranger: i’m a man!
You: Doubtful.
Stranger: andi
Stranger: please
You: Men don’t have peni.
You: At least…you don’t.
You: Please what?
Stranger: do u smoke pot andi?
You: No, I do not.
Stranger: doubtful
You: I do not. Pot is a no-no.
You: You smoke pot, little Lucas. I can tell you’re high right now.
Stranger: not right now
You: Trying to cyber-seduce underage girls.
You: You know my english teacher just got arrested for that? No joke.
You: It’s called Electronic Solicitation.
You: KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.
Stranger: you are scarying men, little andi
You: Wtf?
Stranger: You kinda give me the heebie jeebies
You: I don’t like you.
Stranger: i’m sorry
Stranger: i like u
Stranger: u r funny
You: You scare me :(
Stranger: YOUUUUUUUU scare me!
Stranger: and i would like to order some heebie jeebies to see how they are
You: No, no, no. Don’t even try to say that.
You: You’re a douche :D
Stranger: bag?
You: No, just douce.
You: * douche
Stranger: all right
Stranger: what can we do to fix this?
Stranger: have butt sex?
You: NO BUTT SECKS.
You: I HATE YOU.
You: YOU FUCKING CREEPER.
You: You’re gonna get arrested. Like my english teacher.
You: Have fun in jail.
Stranger: bye andi
You: You can get butt secks there.
Stranger: take care
You: From horny mens.
Stranger: and always remeber
Stranger: i love uuuuu
Stranger: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You: Creeper.
Stranger: say byeeeeee to me
You: NO.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
June 20th, 2010 at 3:27 am
Stranger: so i got disconnected
Stranger: because im a girl
Stranger: ruuude
You: The computer doesnt work in the kitchen?
Stranger: i dont have the privilege of having one in the kitchen
Stranger: but i do have the privilege of having a library card!
June 20th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
You: well there you are.
Stranger: Ahha, I’ve found you.
You: should I ask where you’ve been, or just accept that you are here, now?
Stranger: This has been a long while.
Stranger: I’ve been hiding.
You: that’s good advice. But what should I tell Mom? Should I tell her you’ve just been ‘out’?
Stranger: No, no, you musn’t. She
Stranger: She’ll ground me forever >__>
You: should i tell her you broke out of prison?
Stranger: Dammit, I can’t trust you with ANYTHING!
You: you think shell buy that?
Stranger: No, of course not, shes my mum,
You: Ok, listen. Here’s the keys to a motel. Stay there for a month until your life is back on track.
You: But promise me youll look for a job.
Stranger: No way,
Stranger: You’ll let me stay here,
Stranger: or I’ll tell her about the time you were passed out at that party.
You: ite homie, how bout you do what i say before i get yo ass iced tomorow?
You: ya aint want that do ya bitch?
Stranger: YOU AREN’T THE BOSS OF ME, YOU JACKASS.
Stranger: I can live my life however the hell I want.
Stranger: And it isn’t up to you, or mom.
You: youre right. Shes dead.
Stranger: What!?
You: When you left, she couldnt take it.
Stranger: I never told her I loved her…
You: off’d herself like it was nothing
Stranger: First Daddy, and now this.
Stranger: I just can’t take it anymore!
You: And me? Im just a figment of your fucked up head, kid,
Stranger: What? Noooooo!!!!
Stranger: The doctors lied
Stranger: They said you were real!
You: oh those doctors? nothing is real. right now your fucking strapped up in a criminally insane asylum.
You: never getting out.
Stranger: Dammit! Why did you have to tell me?
Stranger: Why couldn’t I just have done what I wanted to?
You: ALL BECUASE YOU HAD TO GO OUT FOR A COUPLE DAYS BECUASE YOU THOUGHT YOUD BE A MOTHERFUCKING GANGSTER TELLING YOUR FRIENDS YOU SNUCK OUT
You: but no.
You: made your mom kill herself, you went crazy, went on a killing spree
You: killing 36 people
You: 12 children
Stranger: IT’S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT THAT MOMMY FLIPPED OUT!!
Stranger: They all killed her,
You: all the voices right?
Stranger: I killed them though.
Stranger: So it’s all good now.
You: the voices kept harassing you, until you couldnt take it!
Stranger: And you’re just another one >:(
You: so you killed your mom so excellently that it looked like a suicide.
You: and you made believe it was a suicide.
Stranger: No, NO! I don’t want to hear this!
You: until they caught you for the mass murder you commited
You: found her blood serum on your hands
You: linked you to the murder
Stranger: No, the voices framed me.
Stranger: There was nothing to be done.
You: No, there were no voices. but of course you had to make a cover story to plead insanity to the jury
Stranger: Dammit, you think you have all the answers don’t you?
You: You got a fucked up life, kid.
You: Why not just end it here?
Stranger: Theres nothing left to live for…
You: you made this noose and step stool three weeks ago and then passed out until now
Stranger: Nothing for it.
Stranger: -step-
Stranger: -clunk-
Stranger: -CRACK-
July 1st, 2010 at 2:55 pm
stranger: your gay!
stranger:i be trolling!
you: Yes, i am gay
You: you wanna know why i am gay?
Stranger: y?
You : caz i liek guys
You: wannna no why i liek guys?
Stranger: why?
You caz i am a GIRL!
you: pwned!
July 1st, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Cheyenne, you are the man.
July 1st, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Stranger: heyy
You: May i ride your pet chiken?
He has lovley green feathers
July 1st, 2010 at 3:22 pm
You: 35 f outside your window
Did you look? Was I there?
Stranger: Are you a Lenin statue?
You: Sady…no
Stranger: Interesting.
You: I am not a homicidal!
Stranger: I’m very glad to hear that.
You: You are?
Stranger: Yes. I get very easily scared.
Stranger: So for you to confirm you aren’t a homocidal maniac is good.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Cheyenne, do you want to go out with me?
July 3rd, 2010 at 12:40 am
You: hi
Stranger: Hey I want to make up a sexual story with you , you want to ?’
You: yea!
Stranger: okay after i put something you have to continue it okay
You: yep
Stranger: we’re in the movies and i suddently put my hand in your pants you look at me and i give you a kiss.. as im trying to reach lower my hand doesnt fit.. i try to open your pants but………
You: wait, am I male or female?
Stranger: you’re a male
You: and you are?
Stranger: female
You: o i c
You: you’re a slut
Stranger: am i showing you my tits ? no im just bored with my friend
You: omg stop raping me. I WILL call the police
Stranger: call right now
You: OMG YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
You: THEY WILL COME AND GET YOU
You: WATCH OUT
Stranger: for going to jail
You: yes
Stranger: oh yes im gonna get butt fucked in jail so hard ima dieeeeeeee
Stranger: D:
You: wow. you’re a paedophile
Stranger: why would you do this to me
Stranger: why would you want me to die
You: you come on the internet to stalk little children
Stranger: right.
You: there. I have proof now.
Stranger: because I can see them ?
You: omg are you in this room?\
Stranger: yes im in your closet actually
Stranger: hold on i know who you are
You: omg get away from me, freak!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: I have you on facebook
You: o rly
Stranger: yes
You: omg…
You: I know who you are too
Stranger: give me a sec i’ll prove it to u
You: please don’t touch me. you WILL regret it.
You: don’t lay one finger on me
Stranger: haha]
Stranger: watch out
Stranger: im under ur bed…im gonna touch u inapropiatly ones u close your eyes
You: what is wrong with you? do you seriously have an urge to rape young children? that’s sick. extremely sick. you should be locked up; and I will see to it that you are
Stranger: Que riko papiiiiii
You: What does THAT mean?
Stranger: go take a spanish class
You: No, you should..
You: filthy mexican
Stranger: cuban *
You: disgusting.
Stranger: and you’re rasist
Stranger: discusting
You: did you know?
You: that
You: I
You: am
You: right
You: behind
You: you
You: this
You: second
Stranger: yes You are as flat as the wall behind me
You: yep.
Stranger: ha no combacks ?
Stranger: slut.
You: you are.
Stranger: i know u are but what am i ?
You: ummm…I just said what you are?
Stranger: so we’re both sluts ? hmmmmm sounds like a party
You: delicious.
Stranger: ew not that type of party you whore bag
Stranger: a tea cup party
You: 2 girls 1 tea cup?
THE STRANGER DOES NOT KNOW YOUR FACEBOOK INFO. The above link directs anyone to their own profile; it is not really a link to your profile specifically.
Stranger: is that u ?
You: nope
Stranger: oh welllllll
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
July 12th, 2010 at 10:46 am
You: do you liek cookies?
Stranger: i like SOME cookies
Stranger: i’m kind of picky
Stranger: i don’t like the plain ones
You: What a bout puppy cookies?
Stranger: nor do i like the ones with colorful sparkles and no good chocolate
Stranger: id on’t know what a puppy cookie is
Stranger: enlighten me
You: Puppy cookies! All the fun of eating puppies but with half the fat!
Stranger: oh… i’m not korean :P
You: Don’t I know you?
You: Your wordstyle seems familer
Stranger: probably. I mean, you surely know plenty of not korean people who like cookies
Stranger: i might be one of them
You: I am from another planet!(does that ring a abell?)
Stranger: i’ve had about 40 people tell me that
Stranger: so it does narrow it down, yeah
You: on omegle?
Stranger: right
Stranger: oh, do you mean i’m supposed to perhaps know you in real life?
You: omegle is reao….rite?
Stranger: unless you’re a robot or an alie… nevermind
You: No on omegle
Stranger: ok
You: Has anyone ever said thatto you?
Stranger: said what?
Stranger: that they’re from another planet?
You: I’m from a nother planet!
You: YEs that
Stranger: yes… like i said, at least 40 people have said that to me
Stranger: unless i talked to you 40 times
You: ok
Stranger: ok indeed
Stranger: anyway, if you don’t know me, now you know me
You: how i use warp speed to move?
Stranger: that, i haven’t heard
Stranger: so why the alien gimmick? is the real you that boring?
You: No, thats what i say in real life
You: I am weird
Stranger: then you should participate in the olympics
You: and off my meds!
You: WEEEEEEEEEEEE
Stranger: let me rephrase that. then you should participate in the special olympics
You: I am bipolar,adhd,
Stranger: aren’t we all
Stranger: tv and computers will do that to people
You: oh and i am wite *ss american!
You: That is something iwas born with
Stranger: your ass is extremely white?
You: no my momma tanned it the other day
Stranger: if you’re old enough to be using the computer, you’re old enough that your mother should slap your face, not your ass
You: Shes bipolar too
Stranger: if you team up, you can be quadopolar
You: she did slap me last nite
You: owie
Stranger: did you call her fat?
You: no
Stranger: well, that’s better than me. my mother lives in another country so all she can do is just hang up on me
You: It was raining and i didn’t want to go to out bak yard to the trash can 100 feet away
You: and dark!
You: i had to take out the trash
Stranger: i took my trash out just a few hours ago
You: Good for you!
You: I doubt ill evr be able to look at a trash bag without a emotiona breakdown a agian
Stranger: well
Stranger: you should get a different color of trashbag
Stranger: mine are pink
You: Ewwwwwww
Stranger: that’s the color my city makes them
You: What are you tring to do?
Stranger: trying to make my trash acceptable to be picked up
You: Make you trash look pretty?
You: That whyat i tought
Stranger: http://kinnmedaru20.jp/images/cimg0931.jpg
Stranger: see the pink trash bags in the background?
Stranger: that’s my city’s trash bags
You: wait a sec
You: Your asian?
Stranger: half asian. what’s it to you?
You: A dollar
Stranger: cheap asian labor?
You: Mabey. do you come with lead?
Stranger: no, but i could probably bring a pencil
You: Thats graphite
Stranger: who knows these days
You: me
Stranger: fine, you win
You: What do i win?
Stranger: a brand new car!!
You: Yay!
You: With lead chips to eat i presume?
Stranger: there might be lead in the paint
You: paint chips?
You: mmmmm blue
Stranger: so… i’m off to try and find swedish people to talk about sweden with
Stranger: take it easy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
July 12th, 2010 at 10:46 am
Mmmm puppy cookies………cheyenneclghrn@gmail.com
July 21st, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Stranger: what’s your goal in life?
You: Eat a slice of cheese.
You: And move to Vegas.
You: And have 62 babies.
You: All by different men.
You: And one woman.
July 22nd, 2010 at 8:57 pm
You: uhg 15 male usa
You: bye….
Stranger: Hello
You: hi!
Stranger: Are you afraid of death?
You: not reealy…
Stranger: Hm, a shame
Stranger: it’s more fun when they scream
You: on the other hand i r 2 ahs been scared of way ill die
You: but ill scream for your enjoyment if thats what turns you on
Stranger: No, my girl might enjoy that though as we kill you slowly
You: hmm… DEAL!
Stranger: You think i jest?
You: im not gunna lie man this is kinda turning me on
Stranger: Then you are one of us
You: hmm DEAL!
Stranger: You enjoy the thoughts of death and bloodshed?
You: yes acualy i beat off to pictures of crim scenes
Stranger: Haha
You: i like the realy goary ones.. i think csi miami might be my fav
Stranger: Well I am sorry to go i must go
You: bye buddy
Stranger: Bye
July 30th, 2010 at 4:13 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi Im a 18 m looking for a pretty lady or a black men to do “things” on cam. I m bisexual (msn or skype SERIOUS)
You: I like turtles
You: Im a pretty lady
You: :}
Stranger: asl?
You: 22 f usa
You: (I post A Pedobear picture)
Stranger: cool
Stranger: msn?
You: Are you retarded?
July 30th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
OMFG I LIVE IN DUNDEE! :D
August 1st, 2010 at 2:22 am
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: horny here 65 f usa
Stranger: hahaha
You: wht?
Stranger: 65 years… :D
Stranger: i’m 72
You: ya i am
You: oh great!
You: or u single?
Stranger: no
You: ohhh :(
You: male or female?
Stranger: f
You: ohh
Stranger: and i’m les
You: oh great
You: i was a lesbo whn i was youn
You: g
Stranger: cute
You: ya
You: what do u use?
You: vibrator or dildo?
Stranger: both
You: cuz your male would never satisfied u ?
You: cuz probaly ur male hav a dead cock?
You: i use my mobile
You: as vibrator.
You: oka bye i,m busy shaving my pussy
August 14th, 2010 at 11:42 am
You: yeh
You: hey
Stranger: Your mother
You: omg! you are sooo unny!
You: funny
Stranger: Is a dirty ewok
You: omg how do u know!
Stranger: I can see into the present
You: samee man
Stranger: It’s a gift I choose to recess to myself
You: omg thats soo cool!
Stranger: It’s applicable to all situations
You: fo sho
Stranger: Are you a fourteen yeer old girl?
You: yea…
Stranger: Are you a rapist?
You: yea
You: are u
Stranger: Yeah, but also a fourteen year old girl
Stranger: Or so I’ve been told
You: thats soo cool we have much in common
You: but i bet ur mother isnt a dirty ewok
Stranger: Don’t be so quick to assume
You: ohhh myy bad
Stranger: Do you live in californiana
You: no i live in colorado
Stranger: Damn, I got the C part roght
You: true dat
Stranger: I is a god
Stranger: I mean good guesser
You: i is a god too
Stranger: I’m Zeus suckaa
You: are u really thats wack!
Stranger: Nah, I control lightning and shit
You: no i do
Stranger: No I do
You: are u black
Stranger: The one with the better grammar wins
Stranger: No
Stranger: I’m really white
You: ohh
You: crack is whack
You: and white dont cover black
You: i left u speechless didnt i
Stranger: Bububybut drugs are better than drugs and 14 year old girls aren’t thugs
Stranger: Fuck, I meant hugs
You: ohh im a thug
You: excuse me can u please watch your language
Stranger: Fine,MOM!
You: byee i have to go my mom want me to clean the toilet with my tooth brush
You: bye
Stranger: I clgwyhd
August 24th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
My adventures with Advice Man:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’.
Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hey, I’m the Advice Dude! How can I help you today?
You: Wait
You: Let me think of something.
You: I need advice, advice dude.
Stranger: What’s on your mind?
You: You see, there’s this girl at school.
You: She’s really pretty, but I can’t get the courage to talk to her.
You: Do you have any ideas?
Stranger: How old are you? Out of curiosity.
Stranger: Have you ever talked to her before?
You: Six, almost seven.
You: Yes, I have, I sit next to her in Calculus.
Stranger: …
You: Yes?
Stranger: Well, seeing as you’re probably a genius, taking calculus at 8
years old
You: Six.
Stranger: Talk to her more
You: Ok!
Stranger: And eventually, casually ask her if she’d like to date you.
Stranger: Don’t rush it. :P
You: Thanks, advice man.
You: You’re my best friend!
You have disconnected.
August 24th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
That is a thing of beauty, Stephen.