Hilarious Creationist Quotes
If Dinosaurs were extinct before the flood, then the enormous force from a coastless current would have destroyed any fossilized remains. So we know they could not have died millions of years ago like some believe….If dinosaurs were over 50 feet high, and weighed over 11 tons how could they fit on the ark? Only adult dinosaurs were that tall or weighed that much. The healthiest of any species of animal are the babies. They are stronger, faster and more apt to reproduce. [Source]
Special thanks to some crazy guy who warns us not to use any of his text without permission and who has never heard the term “sexual maturity”.
Stumble it!
June 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
How has mankind survived this long with this amount of idiocy running loose??? How??? HOW???
June 12th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
By reaping the benefits we nerds provide.
Maybe we shouldn’t be so generous.
“You think dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time? I’m afraid we’ll have to take back your computer, your vehicle, your home, your prescription medication, your processed foods, and your electronics. Don’t worry son. At least you’ve still got sports.”
June 12th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Wait !! It gets better!!! This is another quote form this guy:
“The Bible tells us that when he created the world, all animals ate only plants. But when we look at the animals in the world today we see that many of them have teeth that appear to have been designed for eating meat. Why is this so? Did animals with teeth and sabers once use them to eat vegetation? Or did their teeth change. And if so, how and when?
When we look at the teeth of the first humans (Neanderthals) we see that they had larger molars and smaller canine teeth than we do. They had thicker enamel (they would need this if they lived longer than we do), and had well worn third molars, or wisdom teeth.
God changed the diet of humans in Genesis 9 when Noah got off the ark. I believe that one of the reasons God did this was that many of the plants that had nourished man before the flood had now died off (or were not as plentiful after the flood). Plant degeneration would also effect the nutritional value of plants.”
::::passes out from the stupidity vapors::::
June 12th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
So….these animals that Noah and his family were eating….what did they feed them?
June 12th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Fairy meat. I mean, DUH, Jason !!!
June 12th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
OH! It all makes sense to me now!
“God changed it to fit my theory.”
Well, I’m converted-um, sorry-convinced.
June 14th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Fergot the inbreeding thing.
And I thought animals started eating meat after the Fall of Man. Now I get it..T-Rex stopped eating coconuts after Noah. Thnx for clearing that up for me.
Also I didn’t know marine animals could live in fresh(rain) water. I’ll have to remember that next time I stock up my aquarium.
Now I’m going to lay down and try to sleep off this aneurysm.
Off hat, my personal fave quote is:
This is not evolution, just variation and speciation. They are still and will always be dinosaurs.
Damminit, now it’s heart attack time. Gotta check the back yard for giant warmblooded lizards and read up on what ‘evilution’ actually means.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Well, cladistically speaking, they (birds) are still dinosaurs….which, like all vertebrates, are a subset of fish.
Welcome Keapon!
June 14th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Well sure -I- know birds are descendents of theropods. But I doubt the author of that link knows that. ;)
And yup yup, I’m a fishie. Can’t breathe underwater but can still drink like one. Stupid pharyngeal arches…not giving me gills.
Greets Jason
I now have to look for a ‘Proud to be a Chordate!’ bumpersticker.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Holy cow, that would be awesome!
June 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I’m particularly fond of this gem from the same site:
“There are only about 30 different “kinds” of dinosaurs (there are many more species) You do not need to take Apatosaurus, brachiosaurus and Camarasaurus on the ark. You just need two members of the sauropod kind. There would be about 60 dinosaurs total (2 of each of the 30 kinds) on the ark.”
Is he implying that if you only take one of each “kind” of dino that they’ll “evolve” into the other species? Did Noah only take one type of ungulate and only one type of canid, etc.? I’m confused!
June 14th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Sorry, I found the answer:
“…you would only need to take 2 of these and then as the reproduced and were separated they would form new species of sauropod dinosaurs. This is not evolution, just variation and speciation. They are still and will always be dinosaurs.”
Now it all makes sense!
June 14th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Wait a sec…
So all potential dinosaur fossils from before the flood were destroyed. That means that every dinosaur species we know of evolved AFTER the flood….yet the dinosaurs still died out so soon after the flood that we have no reliable historic records of them, not even un-fossilized bones. Surely someone, somewhere, should have found ONE unfossilized dinosaur bone!
I’m starting to think this guy might not know what he’s talking about.