Hilarious Creationist Quotes
I’ve been collecting these for the past couple of months. They pretty much speak for themselves. Some might be funnier in their original context, so just click the source link following each quote. If you need help understanding why they’re funny, let me know. And I’m not doing this specifically to ridicule anyone or be mean. I just want to point out how these people are giving Christianity a bad name and making the world a worse place.
Andrewsarchus is a terrifying wolf–like creature, with a large head and fierce teeth. All these details from one skull! (Source)
‘If adults want to believe in a 6,000-year-old Earth, that dinosaurs and humans lived together in harmony (all dinosaurs were vegetarians, you see) and that Noah saved all of the Earth’s animal species by placing them on his ark, then they have the right to do so.’
He needs to read the Bible. Noah did not save “all of the Earth’s animals species.” God sent TO Noah representatives of each LAND ANIMAL KIND. When one sees such incorrect information in a piece by a scientist, one has to worry whether the same lack of attention to accuracy is exhibited in his own research, or the research he supervises! (Source)
Other famous living fossils include the tuatara (supposedly extinct since the Cretaceous Period until found still living in New Zealand), the Lepidocaris crustacean (only found as fossils in Devonian rocks), the Metasequoia conifer tree (thought extinct for the past 20 million years), the Neopilina mollusk (supposedly extinct for 280 million years), the lingula brachiopod (”extinct” since the Ordovician), and even the trilobite (chief index fossil of the even more ancient Cambrian Period).(Source)
Understanding what advocates of intelligent design are saying is a necessary prelude to a thoughtful critique, which Mr. Johnson has not yet offered. (Source)
As I looked at this beautiful event, I thought of those that often ask me why God created the sun on the fourth day of Creation. When I answer this, I say something like, “God knew that humans in their sinful state would want to worship the sun (remember the warnings to the Israelites not to worship the sun like the pagans) instead of worshipping the God who made the sun. So God made the earth first, and plant life, before he made the sun—the sun is his tool. Also, God knew that in the 20th and 21st centuries, sinful man would propose ideas like the BIG BANG that teach people the sun came BEFORE the earth—but God created the earth before the sun. (Source)
I’ve had a lot of stuff crammed down my throat that didn’t go down to [sic] well. It seems like the critics of Christiianity [sic] like to beat we [sic] Christians up and say we are not literate in science and technology. (Source)
Although a dog could possibly mate with a cat, science knows that it is not possible for conception to occur. So I am at a loss as to how we have so many different species. (Source)
Yet none of these curious fish are considered by evolutionists to be ancestors of tetrapods—they are simply interesting and specialized fish. In fact there are even “flying fish” (with specialized fins that permit them to fly or glide in the air for hundreds of yards over water), but evolutionists have never considered them to be ancestors of birds. (Source)
It doesn’t take a “Rocket Scientist” to figure out that if we, as humans, evolved from monkeys . . . THEN WHY? . . . Are there STILL Monkeys??? We were “Created” by God!!! Pull up AOL now and you’ll notice the Gov. of Georgia praying for rain, (No Doubt to GOD). When 9/11 happened what did every good neighbor do? PRAY. Not to monkeys . . . To our “Creator”!!! It shouldn’t take tragic and desperate circumstances for people to realize this fact!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! In GOD We Trust!!! (Source)
Stumble it!
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
hahaha, those are hilarious. No matter how many times it’s explained, people still don’t get the “why are there still monkeys?” fallacy. And because science revises itself, it must be completely wrong? Science never claimed to be completely right all the time. *Sigh*
December 5th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I laughed so hard at the logical fallacies. My favorites were the dog-mating-with-cat one and the flying fish one.
December 6th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Sure they are silly comments but I’m a still creationists. People say silly things many times but nothing said here refuted creationism. I don’t think you, like many people, really understand creationism. You are good at ridiculing it but still haven’t refuted it. I was a evolutionists years ago but discovered its got too many holes and it is a religion and I have no time for religion. I love science and keep up to date on geology,astronomy, paleontology and others but still evolutionists are no closer to proving their theory. Why not just admit you don’t want to answer to a higher authority. Radio carbon dating is only good for 50,000 years approximately and should be gone in the fossil record after 250,000 years but its still there in the oldest rocks! Why does the fossil record have the appearance of being laid down all at once?
December 6th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
“Why does the fossil record have the appearance of being laid down all at once?”
It doesn’t.
“Why not just admit you don’t want to answer to a higher authority.”
Because it’s not true. I desperately want God to exist.
“I don’t think you, like many people, really understand creationism. You are good at ridiculing it but still haven’t refuted it.”
The purpose of this article was (clearly) not to refute creationism. Have you read anything else on this site, or is this page the only thing on which you’ve based the notion that I don’t understand creationism?
December 9th, 2008 at 3:40 am
The praying for the victims of 9/11 is a classic one. How many people did that save?
Every man who has ever been killed in war has had prayers said for them by someone. How did it help exactly?
January 27th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Alright, Lets get this straight. Evolution is a scientific Theory! Not a hypothesis. Theory meaning it originated from a hypothesis, has been put to test, has been proven. Evolution is a FACT! The idea that humans evolved from apes has not been proven, however it’s probably not that far off the mark. Creationism is not in any way science! You cannot prove or disprove if there is a god. Also science reaches conclusions by first forming a hypothesis and then putting it to test. The fundamental flaw in creationism is that it starts backwards. It starts with a conclusion that all life was created by a higher power and then tries to work backwards looking for evidence to support it. There really is no evidence to support creationism aside from foolish assumptions but there is certainly evidence to support evolution. Creationism is a conclusion based solely on assumptions, it is not science. Jim.. you are a fool. Sorry to be a dick about it, open your damn eyes and keep your damn invisible man to your self.
March 14th, 2009 at 1:49 am
“Radio carbon dating is only good for 50,000 years approximately and should be gone in the fossil record after 250,000 years but its still there in the oldest rocks! Why does the fossil record have the appearance of being laid down all at once?”
Wrong. It is only C-14 that is good for a few ten thousands years. There are other elements to measure that have half lives long enough for us to have fairly accurate dating millions of years back. If you keep up to date with geology and paleontology you should know this.
“Why does the fossil record have the appearance of being laid down all at once?” It’s not. The fossil record is in beds from different ages, as evidenced by the layering. If all fossils were found in just one bed, you’d be right, but they’re not.
Lastly, the “belief” in evolution is not some reaction to a dislike of a higher authority. One of my best friends is a Christian and a firm believer in evolution.
Oh, yeah, and what kind of proof for evolution do you want? We have tons of proof in the fossil record in the form of transitional fossils, while ecology and genetics studies show that evolution is both possible and still ongoing.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am
The theory is NOT that we were once apes, ok, retards. It’s that humans and apes came from a common primate 100s of thousands of years ago. The whole thing about “humans coming from apes” came about in the 1920’s from Christian Fundamentalists to try to make darwinism seem silly. After decades of cramming this misinformation into society’s head, it worked. Hence the public education of Kansas…
July 6th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Also. I will be SHOCKED if you, the webmaster, actually lets my previous post be posted. Even though if you were confident you were correct, you WOULD post it and not feel threatened by it.
July 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
David, I hope you’re sitting down. The only comments I don’t approve are spam, and now that you’ve had one comment approved, all your comments are automatically approved without moderation.
I have no idea why you think I’d find your comment threatening though. Could you explain?