OH GOOD GOD REAL MEN MAKE ME VOMIT
Editor’s Note: This is the dumbest thing on this website. Please read some of the other stuff before you leave. Like this, maybe. That way you didn’t waste your stumble.
I normally don’t comment on stuff other people have written because I’m scared they’ll contact me and fuss at me, but I found something that is too hilarious / non-threatening to pass up. Apparently there is a man named Kim du Toit who is really into being a man, which is weird to me. Here’s why he bothers having a website:
“But most of all, I do this website because I love being a man. Amongst other things, I talk about guns, self-defense, politics, beautiful women, sports, warfare, hunting, and power tools—all the things that being a man entails.”
First of all, WTF??? Second of all, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
This essay is FULL of stuff like that. Sure, it’s nothing new, but it’s so wonderfully / horribly put that it ends up being kind of novel. He pretty much sums up why I try not to be social. There are too many Kim du Toits in this world, and I would much rather not have to talk to them. Hey, if you want to be like that, it’s fine, it’s your right, Jesus loves you, etc., but please don’t talk to me. What the hell would we talk about anyway? These are the kinds of conversation we’d have:
Real Man: Uh….are you ok? Why are you staring at that plant/fish/chelicerate/rock?
Me: What do you mean why? Just look at it!
Real Man: So, sport scores, huh?
Me: Oh, I don’t watch sports. I’m intelligent.
And that wouldn’t end well.
So yeah, I don’t like that kind of “real” man stuff. I’ve got a dick. I’m used to it, so it doesn’t excite me all that much. A lot of what he says is actually prohibited by my religious beliefs, so there’s that too. There is so much more to life than “guns, self-defense, politics, beautiful women, sports, warfare, hunting, and power tools” that even thinking about those things for a few minutes every week will seriously cause the average quality of my thought life to trend downward. And that, most of all, is why I do this website. There are better things to be about.
Stumble it!
November 12th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
First comment!!!
Not really fair, I know.
November 12th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Why is there this assumption that men who like sports are thick, and those that don’t are gay? I’ve got one degree, I’m working towards another, but I’m also a passionate football (soccer) fan. I was disscussing this with my housemates, neither of whom care much for sports and we couldn’t agree on any reason why this idea persists.
I have to say that I dislike the arrogant ‘Anyone who likes sports is stupid, merely because I don’t like them’ attitude, which, quite frankly is as bad as the ‘All real men fire guns and ride horses’. All that said I agree there are much better things to do with your day than think about “guns, self-defense, politics, beautiful women, sports, warfare, hunting, and power tools”…
November 13th, 2007 at 6:53 am
Graeme! Thank you for taking the time to comment on my stupid post.
I don’t literally think that all sports fans are dumb. Even Stephen Jay Gould, tragically, loved baseball. I think it was baseball….it was one of the ones with “ball” in it. I can’t come up with a reason why it persists either, other than movies and TV shows. But I am tired of hearing it discussed in the office.
May I ask what your degree is in?
November 13th, 2007 at 7:56 am
I am not a sports fan, but I’m thinking about being a professional athlete. I think that makes me dumb. I have a degree in music.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
why do U care? There’s millions of awesome things to write about & post on the internet & U chose this. This page is a waste of a ’stumble’ click.
November 14th, 2007 at 6:43 am
The saddest thing about the internet today is that any dolt who has nothing important to say can say it.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:34 am
I reread that essay and I also took time to read his wife’s damage control essay (He said some inflammatory things, he said some kinda nice things too! Oh and he has gay friends too so he can’t dislike them!) and it still irks me. I applaud you having the testicular fortitude to stand up and say that his vision of true manhood is not THE one vision.
Real men don’t rant about important things, they do something about it.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Patricia Stevens - and THAT is why I love the internet - I get to say “nothing” all the time.
Great post Jason. People who love sports aren’t dumb - is the ego driven jock who doesn’t have BALANCE in his life I think we are talking about.
I was going to look at the blog you are referencing but I didn’t want to give the guy false hope that his site might be worthy of my reading it.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:56 am
Brandt,
I agree. This is probably the third worst thing I’ve ever posted on this site.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:59 am
Yes Kevin. That is why I started religiously fertilizing and CO2 injecting my 20 gallon long tank. I’ve been doing it for 23 days straight!
November 18th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
I’ve got a degree in Palaeobiology and evolution and I’m currently submitting a masters thesis. Gould was a definate baseball nut, and I have to confess a complete lack of knowledge of most of the things he refers to, baseball wise (though I still read it!).
I wasn’t accusing you of this, however it’s an attitude far more prevalent in academic (and ‘educated’ environments) than I expected. There’s a sort of backlash , where those of us who listen to sports radio (via headphones!) whilst working get funny looks, much as the non-sporty do in pubs… It’s a strangely persistant stereotype!
November 19th, 2007 at 10:12 am
So did you come here via Pharyngula?
I’m incredibly interested in Paleobiology, and I’m practically obsessed with evolution. I have questions on those topics, but it’s too early in the morning for me to remember them…would you mind if I asked you though?
November 19th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I saw the link on Pharyngula initially. Ask me what you will, though there are people who know far more than I do. :)
December 7th, 2007 at 12:12 am
If you are still interested in asking anything, just drop me a line at http://graeme-thewanderer.blogspot.com/
March 17th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
People are people.
I HEART JASON!
And I think about how hot Jennifer is fairly often…which I believe IMPROVES my quality of life.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:24 am
ahahahaha… now I have to agree with you 100% Jason! ^^
April 27th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Thank you andrea! You are an asset to jeffthefish.com. A++. Would do business with again.